To be a beauty and fashion blogger and content creator requires a certain vision. It all centers around our intuition of style and esthetic. Anyone can open a vogue and follow a trend but it’s the unique spin and the individual personalty that really elevates and separates those with vision from those without. Gaining that insight isn’t always easy, it goes beyond what we see,  in a deeper sense, its about the journey that gets us there. For me, it was my lack of vision that lead me to my true “vision”.

Sitting up for a brief moment, the day after surgery 2.

In 2017 I was diagnosed with my first retina detachment. I say first since I’ve had a total of three. I have no lens in my left eye, two degenerative eye diseases, as well as no peripheral vision in my right eye. You could never tell any of this simply by looking at me but I’ve spoken openly about my experience in this youtube video. It has greatly impacted both who I am as a person as well as a creator and pushed me in a direction I never though I would go.

Hiding my eye since I couldn’t apply liner or faux lashes, foundation, or highlight to my face on the left side.

So many times I hear people in this industry talk about how its hard to create content, editing, shooting, gaining a following, maintaining that following, staying relevant- I’ve even complained about many of these things myself. There is that drive and this belief that if you’re truly determined to make it work, it will. On many levels, I do believe this, however, it may not always be how you envisioned it. Sometimes, you need to let go of what you want and see the bigger picture. There is much that can happen by just letting your intuition guide you. This advice goes beyond social media and beyond content creating.

Keeping my eyes closed for makeup shoots to hide the redness.

As I was going through this process of going blind, I had to keep my head down for 14 days and be as still as possible. This mental retreat in a physically punishing state is not something I would wish even on my worst enemy, but it did give me time to truly reflect on where my career as a content creator was going. The over saturation of the beauty community on instagram, the changes to the algorithm, and overall downturn that instagram was taking, had all been taking its toll on my long standing @Recycledstardust account.  I was receiving less comments and likes, followers were rapidly unfollowing, and I was left confused and a bit disheartened. Why didn’t anyone like me any more?This was all made worse by the fact that I wasn’t able to film tutorials let alone apply makeup in my current state, I was helpless.

San Fransisco – Travling the country and taking my happiness into my own hands

I began to shift my focus. My once beloved beauty content was no longer drawing people in and I was in no state to create it. I began to focus on myself and what truly made me happy. My skin and my face had taken a beating from the multiple surgeries. I began to experiment with skincare and share my skincare journey. Since I couldn’t dress up my face, I bought the fashions I loved and went back to my fashion roots – attending fashion week and even meeting celebrities. I wanted to go to California, 10 days after surgery 3, I drove from New York city to San Fransisco. I even started this blog that year to share my more personal thoughts and reviews. It was through going blind that I regained my vision on life and what mattered to me. This ultimately hit the refresh button for my content and myself.

Meeting Whoppie Goldberg at NYFW

This brings me to you, whoever you are, reading this right now. We can all get stuck at times and become ‘visually’ impaired bloggers, content creators, moms, accountants, students, firefighters, teachers, nurses, etc, we stop seeing what we want, or are completely blinded by what we want in life. We stop taking risks, stop taking chances, stop stepping outside our boxes, even though we should! If even for a moment, we can remove ourselves from ourselves just to see what else can make us happy and also make our goals a reality. Self retreat, self love, self reflection are all so very important and necessary. While it took an illness for me to realize I was more than just an instagram account, I hope it takes much less for you to realize you’re so much more than the sum of what you do daily.

A focus on fashion

To be a content creator and a beauty and fashion blogger takes vision, but to truly live and be happy in what you do, who you are, and what you want out of life also takes vision. I may be blind and visually impaired in life, but in heart, I am fully sighted.